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Divorce and Remarriage
An Alliance Position Paper
Purpose:
That the purpose of the statement be clear is imperative to its proper
consideration. As "an instructional statement of The Christian and Missionary
Alliance," it is intended as an expositional guideline of common understanding
to which Council could subscribe as basis on which they are willing to disagree.
The following instructional statement is intended as an expositional guideline
of common understanding to which General Council 1977 (Calgary) subscribed.
For some, the interpretation may be too broad, and for others, too confining.
But a common standard is needed in order to deal adequately with the problems of
divorce and remarriage. The position set forth here neither promotes divorce nor
weakens the scriptural stance represented in former legislation. The Commission
on Divorce Study endeavored neither to take from nor to add to scriptural
teaching on divorce.
An Instructional Statement
of The Christian and Missionary Alliance
Introduction
- Today more and more marriages are failing; divorces and remarrriage are
becoming increasingly common. If couples who live together without the benefit
of a registered marriage contract and then separate are counted, half the
marriages that take place today in North America fail.
- Yet marriage is an essential, sacred institution, a cornerstone of society.
It was established by God Himself when in Genesis 2:18* the Lord said, "It is
not good that the man should be alone; I will make an help meet for him," and
marriage has enjoyed divine sanction and blessing across the centuries.
Ephesians 5 reveals the sacredness of marriage when the union between Christ and
the church is used to illustrate the husband-wife relationship.
Therefore, the church today must do everything in its power to encourage and
maintain the institution of marriage and on God-given grounds. Some today would
set standards for conduct in this area other than by the authority of the Word
of God. Among even those who seek to hold to biblical authority are divergent
opinions, particularly with respect to the right of divorced persons to remarry.
It seems imperative, therefore, that The Christian and Missionary Alliance set
forth what we understand to be the scriptural teaching on these subjects.
This statement is designed not to answer all questions and cover all situations,
but to provide guidelines from which can be drawn scriptural applications to
varying situations. This has been written with the social conditions of North
America in view. Consequently, some adaptation may be necessary in countries
overseas because of special social situations.
Marriage
- God instituted marriage as an honorable estate (Heb. 13:4) for the blessing
of companionship (Gen. 2:18) and as a continuation of the divine work of
creation in the history of the human race (Gen. 4: 1). Marriage is not a
requirement for perfection of personhood, nor is it a necessity for fulfillment
in God's highest purpose. Marriage may, in fact, hamper a person's unconditional
readiness for the call of God, and there are those who have the gift of
refraining from marriage (Matt. 19:12; 1 Cor. 7:7).
- God intended marriage to be a monogamous, lifelong union as clearly implied
in Genesis 2:24. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and
shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Jesus recalled this
original order of creation to overthrow the lax interpretation and practice of
the Mosaic law (Mark 10:6ff.). Although polygamy was sometimes practiced in Old
Testament times, the Bible makes clear that God intended marriage to exist
between one man and one woman for as long as both of them remain alive. In
Romans 7:2 the apostle Paul wrote: "For the woman which hath an husband is bound
by the law to her husband so long as he liveth: but if the husband be dead, she
is loosed from the law of her husband." (See also I Cor. 7:39).
- The strict and lofty terms with which the marriage bond is described in the
New Testament has its primary focus on human fellowship and the family. For the
Christian, the basis of all marital love is the love of Christ for the church
(see for example Eph. 5:3 1ff.). Marriage is constituted first in mutual
covenant. Marriage is a solemn, binding agreement entered into before God and
man (Mal. 2:14). Ezekiel 16:8 uses marriage to illustrate the relationship
between God and Israel and speaks of this relationship as a covenant entered
into on the basis of swearing or an oath or a pledge. Jesus, in John 2,
sanctioned by His presence a marriage being recognized and solemnized by a
public celebration. Therefore, men and women should enter marriage with a legal
contract and pledged vows, preferably under the administration of a Christian
minister, not just by deciding to start to live together.
- Marriage is a physical union. This is clearly set forth by the apostle Paul
in First Corinthians 6:16ff. Marriage is designed to be a unity of flesh and
spirit and represents the wholeness of that unity (I Thess. 4:3-5). In Second
Corinthians 12:19-21 the apostle Paul warns the Corinthian church that
impenitence of those who committed sexual immorality would necessitate his
intervention.
- In no case ought any person to enter into any so-called "marriage " with a
person of the same sex. Homosexual unions are specifically forbidden and are
described in Scripture as manifestations of the basest forms of sinful conduct
since it degrades human dignity and desecrates God's creational design (see Lev.
20:13; Rom. 1:26-27, 32; 1 Cor. 6:9).
- A Christian should not marry a person who does not know Christ as personal
Savior. Second Corinthians 6:14 is explicit, "Be ye not unequally yoked together
with unbelievers." The final few words of First Corinthians 7:39 suggest the
same standard; widows who remarry are told to do so "only in the Lord." Love for
Christ is never to have second place (Matt. 6:33).
Divorce
- Divorce is a departure from the purposes of God. While in the Old Testament
divorce was allowed and was apparently easily secured, this, like polygamy, was
contrary to God's highest intentions. Jesus explained that provisions for
divorce in the Old Testament were an accommodation to "the hardness" of people's
hearts and a necessary evil (Matt. 19:8). The prophet Malachi declared, "For I
hate divorce, says the Lord the God of Israel" (2:16, RSV). Jesus said, "What
therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder" (Matt. 19:6; see
also Mark 10:6-9). The church, therefore, should seek always to discourage
divorce as a solution to marital problems. The Bible teaches that even when a
Christian is married to a nonbeliever, the Christian should continue to live
with his or her mate if at all possible (I Cor. 7:12-13).
While divorce is always contrary to God's intentions, there are certain
circumstances when it is permitted. Jesus said in Matthew 5:32 and again in
Matthew 19:9 that a person is not to divorce his mate except for the cause of
fornication. The Greek word used for "fornication" refers to habitual sexual
immorality for which the synonym "whoredom" may be used, implying all kinds of
immorality, including adultery which desecrates the marriage relationship - a
view generally accepted by Greek scholars.
- The absence of this allowance in Mark 10:6-12 and Luke 16:18 does not set
aside the practical conditions for carrying out the Mosaic practice of divorce
in the new age Christ establishes. But He makes a sharper interpretation which
handles the problem of divorce as a lesser evil to the continuation of an
impossible situation. Divorce is expressly denied for the immediate purpose of
marrying someone else (Mark 10:11-12). It is incumbent, therefore, that a
believer entertain divorce only as a last resort and because of violations
through whoredom -- never as a reason to marry someone else. When one partner of
a divorce has become involved in adultery, the offended mate is permitted though
not required to get a divorce. If an unsaved husband or wife refuses to continue
to live with his or her mate and departs, the believer may agree to this
separation: "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a
sister is not under bondage in such cases" (I Cor. 7:15). Such separations may
result in divorce, and in that event the Christian is guilty of no wrong.
Remarriage
- The remarriage of persons who have been divorced is permitted by Scripture
under certain circumstances. If, after being divorced, one of the original
marriage partners dies, the remaining partner is free to remarry. Romans 7:2 and
First Corinthians 7:39 make clear that death dissolves the marriage
relationship.
- When an adulterous relationship has brought about a divorce, the party who
is innocent of adultery has a right to remarry. The words of Jesus, "Whosoever
shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication," implies the right
of remarriage. When He adds, "And whosoever shall many her that is divorced (the
guilty party) committeth adultery" (Matt. 5:32), the right to marry anyone
guilty of adultery is denied and also to marry anyone who obtained divorce for
the express purpose of remarriage (Mark 10: 11- 12).
- The consistency between the Old Testament and the New Testament is
recognized as Jesus interpreted it. The passage in Deuteronomy from which Jesus
quoted in Matthew 5:31 and Mark 10:2-12 indicates that the "putting away" of a
wife dissolves the marriage and allows remarriage. Jesus did not change the
nature of divorce as dissolving marriage and permitting remarriage; He simply
rejected all rationalization and excuse for divorce and made clear that only the
innocent party whose former marriage was revoked by divorce could remarry
without guilt.
- According to the teaching of First Corinthians 7, which permits divorce when
an unbelieving husband or wife of a believer "departs" (note 3c), remarriage on
grounds of desertion alone is not permitted according to verse 11: "But if she
depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not
the husband put away his wife." In other words, if the unbelieving, deserting
party is not deceased and does not remarry, neither should the one who has been
deserted remarry.
- When two unbelievers have been divorced and one is subsequently converted
and neither has remarried, the Christian should attempt to restore the marriage.
If the non-Christian refuses, this makes the marriage the same as the kind
described in First Corinthians 7:15.
- If a person is divorced on other than the above scriptural grounds and his
or her former partner remarries, that partner by remarrying has, according to
scriptural standards (Matt. 5:32 and 19:9), committed adultery and has dissolved
the original relationship.
- Remarriage is never commanded; it is in some cases only permitted. Divorced
persons who have scriptural grounds for remarriage should enter into such
remarriage only with the greatest caution. Seldom is there a marriage failure
for any cause in which one of the partners is "completely innocent." The
applicant for remarriage should demonstrate an attitude of repentance for any
part he may have had in the original failure. He should receive counseling from
the church so as to avoid repeating destructive attitudes and action.
- Persons who remarry after being divorced on other than scriptural grounds
are guilty before God of adultery. Jesus said, in Matthew 5:32, "Whosoever shall
put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit
adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
Such marriages should not be performed by a Christian clergyman.
- Persons who have been divorced on other than scriptural grounds who
subsequently become Christians are not absolved from the necessity to remain
unmarried by having become Christians. While it is true that we are made new
creatures in Christ, we continue to bear legal and moral responsibilities that
existed before conversion. A person, for example, that contracted a debt as a
non-Christian is not absolved of an obligation to pay that debt by becoming a
believer. A man who brought children into this world as a non-Christian must
still provide for those children after his conversion. A man who contracted a
marriage while a non-Christian must honor the terms of that marriage contract
even after he is in Christ.
- Persons who were divorced and remarried without scriptural grounds prior to
conversion should not feel obligated after conversion to withdraw from the
subsequent marriage. The remarriage that was entered into wrongly constituted an
act of adultery that broke the former marriage. With his former marriage, then,
having been dissolved, the remarried person is responsible to be faithful to his
new contract. Having broken the former marriage, he is "living in adultery only"
if he is unfaithful to his present marriage contract.
- Persons who are divorced or divorced and remarried on scriptural grounds are
entitled to the full privileges of fellowship and membership in the church. A
believer who was divorced or divorced and remarried on other than scriptural
grounds while still a nonbeliever should likewise be received into full
Christian fellowship. The grace of God in Christ forgives all sin; the person in
Christ is a new creation.
- Discretion, however, must be exercised in the choice of divorced and
remarried persons for places of leadership in the church. While all believers
are equal members of the body of Christ, not all members are qualified equally
for every office in the church. The offices of elder (spiritual leader) and
deacon (business leader) in the church are to be filled by those of high moral
and spiritual qualifications, whose pattern of exemplary Christian living is so
established that it may be followed.
- A believer who knowingly secures a divorce on other than scriptural grounds
or a believer who knowingly marries someone who was divorced on other than
scriptural grounds or a believer-whose divorce was granted on other than
scriptural grounds and who remarries should be disciplined by the church and be
granted the full privileges of Christian fellowship only after a demonstration
of genuine repentance for deliberate departure from scriptural standards.
* Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations throughout are from the King James Version of the Bible.
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