Understanding Forgiveness

Matthew  6:12  And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors For
if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also
forgive you:  But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will
your Father forgive your trespasses.

James 3:10-12 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts,
glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not
from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and
strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that
is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be
intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and
without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of
them that make peace.

Ephesians 4:31  Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour,
and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

Hebrews 12:15  Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of
God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby
many be defiled;

Intro
Grudges, hurt feelings, bitterness, resentment, and anger all stem
from an unforgiving spirit. God's word has much to say about
forgiveness and forgiving attitudes.

Forgiveness is at the core of the Gospel. It is what Jesus came to do
for us. Yet most of us struggle with the difficulty of personally
forgiving others. 

1. Understanding Difficulties with Forgiving others their trespasses

i.e. Isolete and Waldir - anger at medical incompetance
- Identifying your own BITTERNESS, ANGER, VENGENCE as sin, harmful
- I'm not angry or bitter. I'm  just indignant, hurt, frustrated,
  peaved, put out, upset
- Anger is RED LIGHT ON DASH - Symptoms of unforgiveness - continued

1) A husband or wife's infidelity
2) A divorce, abandonment, insult, rejection
3) Childhood sexual abuse - ie. Grandad     
4) Premarital sex with your daughter, pregnancy now won't own up to it
5) Rape - rape and now an unwanted pregnancy
6) Drunk driver took away your loved one, careless, irresponsible, got off
7) Murder - tortured, chopped up, ate, boiled, buried your daughter
8) Alcoholic Father - abusive, unloving, cruel physically and emotionally
9) Homosexual assalt - pedophile, HIV, 
10) When someone has publicly humiliated you, cheated you out of
    your rightful position,  viciously lied about you, ruined your
    reputation, When someone has not repented of their offense or sin


2. Understanding Misunderstanding about what forgiveness is

- Excusing wrongs
- Letting the guilty go scott free
- Justifying ungodly behavior
- Acting like it doesn't matter
- Pretending it didn't happen
- Ignoring the problem, the wrong
- Saying  "I'm sorry" or "I forgive you"
- Letting them win, I lose
- Then I can't be mad anymore
- I'll have to "go soft" on evil


3. Understanding Excuses we Make: "I know I should forgive BUT..."

- They need to apologize first
- I just can't forget
- I can't let it go
- They will just do it again
- They will get away with it
- I want them to know how badly they hurt me
- They must acknowledge the wrong they did
- I can't get rid of the memories
- Someone has to pay for what was done
- They need to learn a lesson

CONCLUSION

Let us understand that forgiveness is not easy. It is a difficult task
no matter what the offense. It is made even more difficult by our
misunderstandings and oft-repeated platitudes about forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a God thing. It is a miraculous act of God's grace to
enable us to forgive from the heart.

We invite you to continue with us over the next few weeks as we
explore forgiveness.

END