MAKING FRIENDS "And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul." 1 Samuel 18:1 Intro: ie. Best Friend Keith Davis, led to Christ ie. Best Friend, Rex Jones Songs What a Friend We have in Jesus Jesus, What a Friend of Sinners There's No Friend like the Lowly Jesus Lily of the Valley I've Found a Friend O Such a Friend Friendship With Jesus Fellowship Divine What Makes a Friendship? Chemistry? DNA of friendship? No one really knows the chemistry of why two people become good friends. I. Kinds of Friends and Relationships (Personality Types Often Determine People and Friendships) 1. Best friend - bossom buddy 2. Social butterfly - many friends 3. Loner - no, or very few friends 4. Kling-on friends - obcessive/compulsive, want-to-be-your-freind II. Destroyers of Friendships 1. Suspicion - paranoia, nobody likes me, everybody hates me, someone is talking about me. 2. Criticism - complainer, crier, critic, nit picker, constant crisis, whiner 3. Betrayal - lying, cheating, sinning against, taking advantage of, hypocrite (two faced actor) 4. Know-it-all - Expert, authority on every subject, cannot be told, instructed, or informed. 5. A Bore - limited interest, one track mind, self absorbed, lazy, disinterested, silence, deadhead 6. Odoriferous - rude, obnoxious, smelly, BO, need a bath, breath, 7. Buying a Friendship - excessive gifts, loans, always feeling need to give to keep friend. III. Qualities of Friendship 1. Soul knit - 18:1 "knit, loved him as his own soul" Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times. 2. Friendliness - 18:2 "took him to his own house... Proverbs 18:24 "shows himself friendly." 3. Mutual Trust - 18:3 "made a covenant" Proverbs 27:6, 17 "faithful are wounds... sharpens the countenance." 4. Sharing - 18:4 "Stripped himself of his robes and gave them." Luke 11:5 "friend at midnight... lends him loaves." 5. Confiding - 20:1 "What is my iniquity?" Galatians 6:2 "bear one another's burdens" 6. Defense - 20:28-32 "Why kill him? What has he done?" Proverbs 17:17 "A friend is born for adversity 7. Protection - 20:41 "Wept with one another... sent him away." Job 42:10 "Job prayed for his friends..." Illustrations i.e. Durer's Praying Hands From childhood Albrecht Durer wanted to paint. Finally he left home to sutdy with a great artist. He met a friend who also had this same desire and the two of them became roommates. Both being poor, they found it difficult to make a living and study at the same time. Albrcht's friend offered to work while he studied. Then when the paintings began to sell, he would have his chance to study. After much persuasion, Albrecht agreed and studied faithfully while his friend toiled long hours to make a living. The day came when Al sold a wood-carving and his friend went back to his paints, only to find that the hard work had stiffened and twisted his fingers and he could no longer paint with skill. When Al learned what had happened to his friend he was filled with great sorry. One day returning home unexpectedly he heard the voice of his friend and saw the gnarled, toil-worn hands folded in prayer before him. I can show the world my appreciation by painting his hands as I see them now in folded prayer." It was this thought that inspired Albrecht Durer when he realized that he could never give back to his friend the skill which had left his hands. Durer's gratitude was captured in his inspired painting that has become world famous. And, we are blessed by, both the beauty of the painting, and the beautiful story of friendship. ie. Definition by English publication "A friend - the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out." i.e. No man is useless while he is a friend. i.e. Indian "Friend is "One-who-carries-my-sorrow-on-his-back" i.e. Helen Keller's friend WORD STUDY: FRIEND/FRIENDSHIP Psalms 41:9 Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me. Psalms 88:18 Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness. Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Proverbs 19:6 Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts. Proverbs 27:9 Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel. Proverbs 27:10 Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother's house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off. Proverbs 27:14 He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him. Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. Luke 11:5 And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; 6 For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? 8 I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth. James 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. I Samuel 18:1-4 1 And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father's house. 3 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle. ============================================================================ Additional Sermon Notes on Friendship ============================================================================ FRIENDSHIP "Jonathan went to find David in the woods... ...and strengthened his hand in God." Samuel 23:16 The Scripture Has Much to Say About Friendship: "A friend loves at all times " Proverbs 17:17 "A brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 18:19 "A man with friends, is himself a friend." Proverbs 18:24 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend." Proverbs 27:6 "A man sharpens his friend's countenance." Proverbs 27:17 "Job...prayed for his friends." Job 42:10 "...a friend sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24 "Abraham was the friend of God..." James 2:23 "at midnight say, Friend, lend me three loaves" Luke 11:5 Intro: 1) Few friendships are outstanding, life-long friendships. 2) Jesus had friends - he was the friend of publicans and sinners, but he had a few close friends. 3) Friendship - what is it? How does it happen? Why doesn't it always happen? 4) Many have acquaintances, few are friends. 5) This is what we want to consider this evening: a) What is a friend? b) How to make a friend? c) How to be a friend / treat a friend? d) How to keep a friend? Friendship is normally a concern to everyone. If you have no friends then something indeed must be wrong, at best, things are not well with you and you feel the pain of friendlessness. There are some things that qualify a man to have friends and be a haven of friendship to others. And there are characteristics that repulse friendships though one seeks them with the diligence of a miner panning for gold. The BIBLE speaks with authority of friendships and lack of friendships. It is in fact the BOOK OF BOOKS on the subject as its author is known as the Friend of sinner, Friend that sticks closer than a brother. He is the Friend of all friends who loved so much that he laid down his life for his friends. This evening I want us to muse on the subject of friendship. Not the Dale Carnegie style, How To Make Friends And Influence People", but how to ýBE ýa ýfriend and live with people. You see God is not so concerned with how many friends we have as he is with WHETHER WE ARE INDEED A FRIEND at all. I. What is a friend? Commrade: "How can two walk together except they be agreed?" Amos 3:3 Fondness: "A friend loves at all times" Proverbs 17:17 Kindred Spirits: "Soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David - I Samuel 18:1 Mutual Commitment: Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 1 Samuel 18:1 II. How to make a friend? Be Friendly: "A man who has friends, must show himself friendly." Proverbs 18:24 Bless Friend: "He that blesseth his friend" -- Proverbs 27:14 "with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him. Be Near: Available: "Lover and friend hast thou put far from me" -- Psalms 88:18 Strengthen/encourage: "strengthened his hand in God." -- Samuel 23:16 III. How to be a friend / treat a friend? Trust : "Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, " -- Psalms 41:9 Forsake not: "Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not;" -- Proverbs 27:10 Fair weather friend. Give of self - "Friend, lend me three loaves;" -- Luke 11:5 Counsel: "Ointment/perfume rejoice the heart: so the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel. -- Proverbs 27:9 Protection: "A friend is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17 IV. How to keep a friend? Loose a friendship? Rebuke: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." -- Proverbs 27:6 Correction: "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." -- Proverbs 27:17 Righteousness: "Friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God." -- James 4:4 Separation: "We command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us." 2 Thessalonians 3:6